In Mark We Do Not Trust

Ever get the feeling people just don't trust you?  You too huh?  I just cant understand why.  Who did I steal from or harm or kill?  I don't recall any murders recently.  What is going on? 

Its something I've been puzzled about for most of my 40 years. 

Try to imagine going through life, meeting new people but they just don't seem to trust you for some reason.  Like they know something you do not.  Like someone said something to them.  BUT WHAT?  You try and try to gain their trust but still, there's that feeling.  You go out of your way to not steal, lie, harm others, but still, there's that feeling. 

I'll admit I had lied and stolen things and was a typical juvinile deliquent up until 18.  When that birthday hit I knew, no more bad boy.  Under 18 you get off, over 18 things change.  So I did as well. 

One crazy example of mistrust took place during my time working for a headhunter.   My bosses, the owners, two of most kind, and generous people I've ever met, never seemed to trust me.   Though how I tried to sway them.  There was still that feeling.

After about three years there my checks started to bounce.  It happened twice in one year.  This is a big problem when payroll is only once a month! 

As an idealist, I found the ideal solution.  Cash the check on payday, take it to ATM and deposit cash to avoid teller fee.  This plan worked just fine for about six months.  One deposit must have been too irresistable to the bank employees.  My $2,500 was no where to be found!   For three weeks they searched while my overdraft fees went through the roof!

It was during this time that my employers thought I was doing some kind of scam on them.  As if I'd ask them for $2,500 more to cover it.  All I wanted was for them to explain to my bank as to why I put so much cash into the ATM.  Still, they seemed wary of me *ing them over.

 "Who puts $2,500 cash into the ATM?", my boss almost yells.  "Uh, Mark does?"

I wanted to trust the machine and the people behind it.  Maybe I'm too free with my trust and they're a tad too tight?

Thankfully Wells finally "corrected" the mistake and removed all fees.  It was too late though to fix the harm done to ever getting any trust.

Who have I ever *icked over?  My father when I stole that money  from him to become a teen age run-away, sure. But not my mother who mistakenly thought I stole a gun and my own Atari set.  To this day she still thinks I burglarized our own house.  I didn't do it MOM!  GUNS!?!  They scare me ever since I nearly shot my brother on that trip out to Carefree shooting range.  Walking, I tripped and gun went off over his head!  So glad I missed, only have one to spare.

By the way, I eventually paid my Dad back 20 years later.  Wish I did steal that Atari though, remember Asteroids and PAC MAN?  Never as cool as the real arcade but close enough. 

P.S. SERIOUSLY:  I've never killed or harmed a soul. Still waitin' on my polygraph!