Dear Favorite Cousin,

Sorry I have to make this public, but I have no other way to contact you.  Not sure if you'll find this over here, but I trust the girls have mastered the art of Google search by now. 

I miss you and love you so much and I couldn't understand why things happened as they did. 

But then I accidentally came across those Bryan Duncan lyrics.  Remember?  "Love Takes Time"?  You were so eager to show me those lyrics!  First a mailing then in person.  "Jeeze", I thought, "She's really into this Church Rock thing."
 
The first time I read them, I was not reading the song for "me".  It was reading for "you", to make you happy.  Reading from that point of view changes things.  Having an audience watch me read in anticipation of my liking or dislike caused me to tune-out completely.  Words were just that, disconnected words on a page.

Now, a second chance reading, AND ALONE this time would prove entirely different.  I felt meaning and purpose behind each and every letter; it was like Mr. Duncan had somehow written the song for me ... and only me! 

OF ALL THE DAYS, it was THAT day in which I needed those words...... after coming so close to and discovering so many clues about the people who are after me, finding that letter was like a message from God. 

The idealist was at the ideal time, at an ideal place in world and mind for all the letters on the page to become one powerful message.  

• "YES I HAD BEEN MISTRUSTED!",
• "YES I HAD BEEN MISTAKEN FOR SOMEONE I COULD NEVER BE!",
• "Yes there may have been deep waters of vengeance stirring;  to get those who would manipulate through false Google search results, false renters like Vikki who would often suggest I check out all her videos, suggesting I search for "Vikki" videos(don't do it, trust me) false friends and false websites.  Those who falsely accuse and corrupt me through psychological media warfare paid for by church money and most importantly:  THOSE WHO DECIDED THEY WERE GOD."  aka afw afx

My face like an apple, a mess of redness... snot bubbled out of my nose, what a dramatic mess I was reading those lyrics.   Most importantly  UNDERSTANDING THEM!

"Burn each other?", That line caught my attention.  
"No, we should all chill and focus that anger into a lesson plan for myself and those that hunt me."

"Do unto others as they would have had done to themselves..."  Because I know they're not as kinky as me.   LOL!

The second awakening was the "Metro 9 Mark's Book" event. 

A mid-twenties preppy-looking foursome got on the east bound Metro as the two of us were heading to dinner. 
I looked at the stack of books one of them was carrying and delighted in their thick Southern accents.  So wholesome and bright they seemed, with a light coat of naivety thanks to their lovely drawls.
 
One of the four kidded another about their accent, when really all four sounded just about the
same to me. 

As two of them departed, the man reached into her bag and handed me this  book. 

We exchanged smiles, "Thank you.", I offered as they left the cool coach for the broiling, pre-heated concrete
 and asphalt streets of Tempe.

My significant other advised that I put that garbage aside and went on to say how Christianity has killed more
innocent people than all the wars combined.  In years past, I would have thought exactly the same and placed
the book on a vacant seat.

He wouldn't have it, he persisted that I give the book back to the remaining two.  "NO", I told him.  I felt
there must be a message here somewhere.  His voice grew louder, I felt like a child as if my father were scolding me
to put away the Democratic literature.  In front of WHOLE class to boot!  Finally he relented after I pleaded to keep the book. 

He put his arm around my shoulder, which was really awkward in Phoenix in public.... but it was sweet.  I know
how most Americans feel about public displays, what I didn't realize is how they also care about private displays.

Now it seems I can't even love my best friend, my only friend without worrying what the Overseers are thinking.

The pages on the "9 Marks" book let me know that Christianity isn't the evil religion I thought it was.  It also
told me that many of those who profess to be Christian aren't!  That was a shocker for me!

"Wow, I could potentially become a Christian!"  "Wow, I could potentially become Christian and they'd still be
out to kill me by stroke or gun or one of the other methods mentioned by the Twitter Overseers."

At least now I know it could be me facing eternity in Heaven and them who might be heading the opposite direction.  Using Church donations to terrorize homosexuals and eventually kill them?  Is that an "OK" kind of a sin?  Does "Thou shalt not kill" contain an asterisk?   No!  It has a little "cross" instead.  LOL. 

BUT to be Christian is to SHOW THEM.  Show them the right way.  They have shown me and now it is my turn. This letter is doing just that.  Not to you, my dear cousin.  But to some of your fellow Christians. 

All I want is for everyone to be happy.  I swear to Geary.... my cat.  Not sure if its right to swear to God.
My pursuit of the truth is just that, once I finally figure out who, what when and why, I'll say
goodbye and I love you.  Because I'm sure it started out as a loving thing, didn't it?


Love and Peace

P.S.  I have never cast a spell on you and would never cast one.   I know nothing of witchcraft outside of Samantha
      on Bewitched.  My luck, it'd be like that Aunt Ethel and I'd turn the house into a river on accident. 
     
      Please know the "ties that bind", not talking bondage here... but a kind of sisterly love.  It will always be there for me regardless of how you feel.   I have those cherished memories with you up there somewhere in my dustbin.    XXoo

P.S.S. jsYK:  (Just so you know (inside joke me and Rene))  It'll be much faster next time around if you ask me to take polygraph test FIRST, before the years of manipulation.

P.S.S.S.  Ms. DAD's Wake:  Nothing personal, I love you too!!!